Toxic behaviors create unhealthy relationships and toxic people are the cause of it all. Why do toxic people do toxic things, how are we unfortunate enough to be stuck in such a situation, and what can be done about it?
You hear about toxic people all the time and you hear stories of how people triumphantly stepped away from toxic relationships, but you never thought it would happen to you. Yet, you find yourself mired in a toxic relationship one day. The relationship is not all bad, and the person you love finds ways to make it up to you when they have hurt you, so what’s the big deal? The big deal is they know better and there are better ways to act than to behave in toxic ways. Join SpiritualBlossom to learn about toxic relationships. Learn some signs that you are in a toxic relationship and what a toxic person even is. Find out the reasons why people are toxic and why you were so unfortunate that you got stuck in a toxic relationship. But don’t worry- there is hope. You have options and the end of this article will help you decide what to do about toxic relationships.
Signs a Relationship is Toxic
“My relationship isn’t toxic! So why do I feel bad?” Well, it might be a toxic relationship and you just don’t realize it. A toxic relationship is a relationship that causes one or both people in the relationship harm. Relationships are supposed to make us feel loved, supported, and they are supposed to make our lives better. If your relationship emotionally drains you, makes you dread being around the person, or physically causes you harm, it’s toxic and there are countless signs like abuse and jealousy demonstrating how toxic it is.
Abuse
Abuse is mistreatment and it causes harm. It can be physical or emotional. Some people assume the only form of abuse is physical abuse and that it always has to be violent. There are plenty of ways to abuse people other than being violent, though. An example of non-violent physical abuse is deliberately starving somebody or depriving them of sleep. Mental, also called emotional or psychological abuse, is manipulating people mentally to hurt their feelings or make them feel bad about themselves. It can include insulting them to tear down their self-esteem. Abuse gives the abuser complete control of their victim. Protective magic can help you battle a toxic person. Find out how to do it here: Magic for Self-Defense
They Use You
Toxic people who are users know how to pick out people who they can manipulate into doing what they want. An example of this is to pretend to be pregnant to get someone to marry you when you know for a fact you are not pregnant. Another example is to lie and say you are broke from paying bills so someone else will pay for something, when you know you have plenty of money and can pay for it yourself. We all help the people who we love, but if someone is in a relationship with you just because of the things you can do for them, and they don’t do anything in return for you, nor do they care about you, it is a toxic relationship.
Your Feelings are Disregarded
If you are in a relationship with someone who does not care about your feelings, it is definitely a toxic relationship. If something is important to you emotionally, and the person you are in a relationship with flat out tells you they do not care about that, that is toxic. For example, if your partner gives your cat away because they feel like it and they don’t care how it makes you feel, they are toxic. Toxic people are not always upfront enough to say so, but they don’t care about your feelings. Read about one-sided relationships here: What to Do About Relationships That are One-Sided
Jealousy
Pay close attention to how the people in your life react when good things happen to you. People we are in relationships with should celebrate our victories and accomplishments with us, not resent us for them. While it is natural to see the good things other people have and want to experience those good things ourselves, someone who is toxic won’t think about that. They just don’t want other people to have things they don’t. Is your best friend jealous you are getting married because they are single, so they start bashing your fiancé? Does your best friend at work start speaking against you once you get a promotion, trying to get you fired? Anyone who wants to take things away from you is toxic.
Never Ending Stress
Stress happens in life. Health problems, workplace drama, and financial issues stress us to the point we can’t think. There come times in our lives when it seems like things just won’t go our way, but if your entire relationship if fraught with nothing but problems and this goes on over a long period of time, there comes a moment when you have to ask yourself if this is happening because someone or both of you is making bad choices. The last thing any of us need is a relationship that stresses us. If there are constant fights, regular power struggles, or there is constant drama, your relationship is a toxic one. We all fight sometimes, but if fights are ongoing, and over anything and everything, the relationship is filled with constant conflict. Some people thrive on conflict, but other people need a non-toxic life that is not centered around constant problems they have to devote time and energy to solving.
Define a Toxic Person
A toxic person is someone who does toxic things. Some toxic people are toxic for their whole lives, really enjoy the damage they cause, and refuse to change. They create drama, pain, and problems wherever they go. You can’t talk sense into them, and they won’t stop unless they are made to. Some people do toxic things, and when they realize they are being toxic, they stop. Are toxic people bad people? It depends on who you ask. Some people would say nobody is born good or bad, but the things we do are either good or bad things. Some people say the things we do make us good or bad people, but then again other people say nobody is inherently bad or good, but we all have the ability to choose what we manifest. Read about manifesting love here: How to Manifest Love
Why are People Toxic?
Toxic behaviors cause a lot of problems. They ruin relationships and can ruin people’s lives. Sometimes toxic behaviors make us do downright criminal things and a criminal record can put someone behind bars, giving them a permanent record that keeps them from enjoying certain privileges and opportunities. Knowing what kinds of awful things toxic behavior causes like pain from abuse and stress, why do people decide to be toxic anyways? Some people who have not healed create toxic situations and other people do toxic things because it is all they know to do. Then, some people don’t even realize what they are doing.
They Are Hurting
When you have been hurt, you might push people away. Neglecting relationships with friends and family who love and care about you in an attempt to protect yourself isn’t something you would think would be toxic, or is it? If you push your own children away when your heart is broken, the neglect of them is toxic. The desire to get even when you are hurt can also lead to toxic behavior. Look deep in your heart and ask yourself if hurting somebody just because you are hurt will make you feel better, or if it will make you the one who is doing toxic things. Read about how to live life on your terms after changes you did not choose: How to Manifest Your Life After Changes
They Know No Different
If you grew up in a toxic home, and have not been around people who aren’t, you might have no idea there was something wrong. When you get out of the culture where you grew up, and see other people behaving differently, you might be shocked by it. How do you feel about things now? What seems best? The toxic environment you grew up in, or the way people who don’t behave in toxic ways live? Chances are, you learned bad habits and toxic behaviors that you now realize are not good. So, you will find yourself unlearning your toxic habits and relearning habits that are not toxic. Be patient with yourself or a loved one unlearning toxic behaviors. It takes time, but if your heart is set on unlearning toxic behaviors, you will.
They Are Unaware
Some people genuinely don’t know they are being toxic, and the minute they find out, they are ashamed and horrified at their behavior. Good people make bad decisions sometimes, and if someone truly loves you, when they understand that what they are doing is wrong, they will stop. Nobody knows the people you love better than you do, so if somebody you love is hurting you, ask yourself if this is how they always behave, or if it is unusual. If it is something that has never happened before and you believe they mean no harm, sit down and talk it out. Anybody who truly loves you will go out of their way to avoid hurting you. Read about saying I love you here: When Should I Tell Him I Love Him?
Illness
An ugly truth is sometimes, people who are struggling with health problems are unable to think of how they make other people feel, because they are barely able to function. They can be short tempered, cold hearted, and downright nasty sometimes. If you love someone who is struggling with their physical or mental health, and it makes them behave in toxic ways, know that they are not trying to be hurtful. They are just dealing with the fact their bodies are not functional and they just don’t always know how to remember to be gentle with the people who they love.
Why Me?
Why do toxic relationships happen to us? Because toxic people can get by with the things they do. If they are stopped, they can’t be toxic. It’s that simple. Be aware that if you call someone out for being toxic, they may deny what they are doing and accuse you of being the toxic one. Once someone who is committed to being toxic discovers they cannot get by with the behavior with you, they will move on to someone who will allow it. You might decide to warn other people, and some people will listen to you, but sometimes, people won’t listen. Toxic people can be master manipulators sometimes and can make it look like you were the toxic one. So, once you have decided you don’t want to be involved in toxicity, you have a decision to make. Just what will you do about it?
What Can I Do About It?
There are two very simple things you can do when somebody is being toxic. You can either talk things out with them, trying to change the situation, or you can walk away.
Talk About It
Nobody is perfect, and even the best of people make mistakes. When somebody is told what they are doing wrong, their reaction tells you all you need to know about whether they care about you or not. Say a friend is telling jokes that trigger painful memories. When you explain it to them, if they say, “Oh come on- can’t you take a joke?” or “Stop being so sensitive,” they don’t care about your feelings. If they immediately tell you that they had no idea they were bringing up painful memories, and they never tell the jokes around you again, they truly care about you. You never know until you communicate your feelings how someone will react.
Walk Away
This can be painful, difficult, and feel like cutting out a part of your heart. When you truly love somebody, you might feel like it is more important to keep them in your life than to step away from them to keep them from hurting you. There may come a day when you change your mind, and decide your personal emotional wellbeing is more important. Making this decision is never easy, but if the toxic behavior won’t stop, and it is breaking your heart, it is okay to walk away from a relationship. Some people promise to change if you say you will step away, and indeed, some people do. However, if they promise to stop the toxic behavior and it continues, you are not wrong to let go of a relationship to preserve your peace. Find out how to let go of someone here: The Ultimate Guide on How to Let Someone Go
Toxic relationships happen to the best of us simply because some people have toxic behaviors. You don’t have to consent to being mistreated and you don’t have to stick around if the behavior continues. Some people have toxic habits they work hard to break, but other people enjoy being toxic and won’t change no matter what. You might need to step away to heal emotionally if your loved one won’t stop the toxic behavior. Toxic people can change if they truly want to, though, so you might not have to give up on someone you love, despite everything. We choose what people and what things we allow in our lives, and it is up to us to decide how to handle toxic situations.
Do you need guidance navigating a toxic relationship? Our psychics are available to help, so get a reading started today: Online Psychic Readings Make sure to sign up for our Horoscopes today to find out what the future holds: Daily Horoscope | Free Horoscopes
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for The Green Egg Magazine and PaganPages.Org emag.
