Find out how to be a better listener by unlocking the secrets to great communication that every good listener knows.
The fine art of listening isn’t something everyone excels at. How many times have you tried to explain something to someone who is annoyed they have to be quiet so you can speak? Then they rejected everything you just told them because they believe they know better? Think of the people you know who are good listeners. Think of the amazing impact they make just by listening. You can do that too! Join SpiritualBlossom to learn all about how to listen well. Find out what it means to really listen, and why some people don’t do that. Then find out six easy ways to be a better listener. By the time you read this, you will have all the tools you need to be an excellent listener!
What it Means to Listen
“ The difference between hearing and listening is paying attention.” – Ruth Messinger
A wise Sage sat with his student to discuss a horrible argument they had both witnessed. Both people involved in the argument reiterated what they said to one another multiple times and never acknowledged one another’s points. They both left the discussion feeling that they had been disregarded. In fact, they had both disregarded each other. “Why did they do that?” the student asked. “Most people just listen to respond.” The Sage explained. He continued by saying, “Some people are so eager to say what they want, that they don’t want anybody else to say anything and they refuse to hear or acknowledge anything that is said to them. Clearly those people don’t listen.”
Listening is defined by Dictionary.com as “ To give attention with the ear.” The key word is attention. Listening is being attentive to sounds. You pay attention to what is said. You pay attention to the background noise around you. You pay attention to silence. Listening to what people are saying is more than just being silent so they can form words uninterrupted, though. It means really thinking about what is said and taking it to heart. When we truly listen to people, we validate what they say and it helps them to trust us more. Being listened to helps people to feel heard, understood, and comfortable with us. Here is where you can find out what to do if you are uncomfortable: What Should I Do if I Am Uncomfortable?
How Listening Influences Relationships
“ Listening is an act of love. When you listen to people, yun are communicating non-verbally that they are important to you.”- Jim George
How well you listen will influence your relationships. When you listen to people, they feel like they can trust you. It shows that you care about them and you respect them if you listen to what they say. It also helps you to understand their feelings and needs. When you listen to people, you show them that you're focusing on them and that increases emotional intimacy. Relationships are all about connections. If you shut people out and don't listen to them, it will break the connection that you're trying to build with them. It shows them that they don't emotionally matter when you shut them out or ignore them. Listening to people is one way we show we love them, and you can read about how to say “I love you” here: When Should I Tell Him I Love Him?
Why Can’t Some People Listen?
“ Most people never listen. Nor do they observe.” -Ernest Hemingway
Everybody can listen. Some people just won’t. This is not only a very frustrating thing, but it can happen for a few reasons. Occasionally, there is genuinely something else going on and people cannot focus well enough to listen. Some people can focus, they just don’t care enough to. Then there are the “know-it-alls” who think they know so much they don’t need to listen to anybody else.
They Are Distracted
Sometimes there is too much going on and people don't mean to not pay attention to what you're saying. They are just distracted. That is why it is especially important when someone who you love is going through a difficult time to be understanding if they're behaving differently. Dealing with grief or trauma can make it difficult for people to focus on the needs of the people who they love. So, if you love somebody who always listens to you, and they can't because of something that they're going through, it's time for you to listen to them for a while and let them heal. Don't worry, because once they get through their difficult time they'll be giving you their undivided attention again.
They Don’t Care
When you try to explain to someone how you feel about something and they don't care about your feelings, they are not going to listen to you. This is especially true when they're the ones who have hurt you. They may be defensive and say that you should not be hurt because it wasn't their intention. They may say that you deserved it and being hurt is the consequence of what they believe that you deserved for them to do. If somebody flat out refuses to listen to you, and they could, it means they do not care. Wouldn't it be nice if you could make people care? Sometimes you can't and the only thing that you can do is move on and talk to somebody who does care. Something like that is enough to break your heart. Read what Major Arcana Tarot readings can tell you about heartbreak here: Major Arcana Readings about Heartbreak
They Think They Know Better
When somebody thinks they know more than you, they might tune you out when you're trying to talk to them. You can't control whether other people do that, but you can make sure that you don't make that mistake. Don't assume that because someone is a different age than you that they don't understand something that they're trying to tell you. Don't assume that just because someone hasn't had the same experiences as you, that they don't understand what they're talking about. Older people can remember what it was like to be younger. Some wealthy people remember what it was like to grow up poor. Some people with less formal education know more than people who have more. Don't automatically assume that you know more than someone else, and you'll keep your mind open to learning more. Geminis have curious minds and love to learn and you can read about that Zodiac Sign here: Gemini Zodiac Traits and Love Compatibility
Why Should We Listen?
“ Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.”- Doug Larson.
To be fair, an entire book could be written on all of the reasons why we should listen. However, every reason can be summarized in four simple words: we listen to learn. That's it. When you listen to what people are saying, you learn what they're sharing. You learn what people are thinking. You learn how to do things better. You learn how people feel. We are blessed with six senses. We see with our eyes. We taste with our tongues. We smell with our noses. We touch with our skin. We hear with our ears. We sense things in non-physical ways with our psychic abilities. Read about clairvoyance psychic abilities here: What is Clairvoyant Psychic Reading?
All six of our senses can combine to help us to listen, not just our ears. We can see the nonverbal cues that people give and we can tell that their feelings are hurt. They can feel with our skin that it's too cold for our pets and we know to turn up the heat and give them a blanket. We can smell that the cake is done in the oven and it's time to take it out so that it doesn't burn. We can taste that the food needs some more seasoning. We can hear words and sounds that communicate information to us. And our psychic instincts can tell us when there's negative energy in our room and we should leave.
We are constantly processing information with all of our senses. So when people start talking to you or giving you nonverbal cues, listen and pay attention so that you can process that information as well. There will never come a time when any of us know so much that we can stop paying attention or learning. Every moment of every day there are opportunities for us to learn and grow. No matter how much you have mastered something, there is always new knowledge to gain. Most of all, no matter how much someone who you love talks to you, there are always more words they can give you to listen to. Read more about manifesting love here: How to Manifest Love
How to Listen
“ A wise old owl lived in an oak.
The more he saw the less he spoke.
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like this wise old bird? "- Nursery Rhyme
The fine art of listening is one that few seem to master, but in six easy steps you can become an expert listener. It is really not that difficult. It all begins with the proper attitude. Your attitude should be that what is being said to you matters. Then there are six very simple things that you can do to demonstrate that you are listening. Give the person your full undivided attention by looking at them and be quiet while they're talking. Don't just be quiet and look at them but actually pay attention to what they're saying and ask questions for clarification. Give them feedback or validation while they're talking and then let it influence your behavior to show that you really paid attention and understood what they said.
Look at The Speaker
Look at someone who is talking to you. Look at them, don't look at your cell phone, and don't watch television. Don't look at other people. Don't dig through your purse or wallet, and don't look at other things. Look at them and make eye contact. This demonstrates that your focus is completely on them and you're not distracted by other things. It establishes polite respectful communication. One thing you might want to look at is how to use magic with color and you can read about that here: Colors Magic: Their Meaning and Symbolism
Be Quiet
Be quiet while they're talking. Give them time to finish what they're saying. Don't interrupt them. Looking at somebody and being quiet so you can fully hear and understand what they're saying is a very important way to communicate that you are listening. It also gives you the opportunity to really hear them and fully comprehend what's being said to you. Don't make the mistake that some people make and impatiently stay silent while they talk so you can say what you want to say. Don't just still your speech, but still your mind so that they can speak and you can understand.
Pay Attention
Really pay attention to what's being said to you. Think about it. Some people just like to talk, and that's OK. It makes them feel connected with you if they can share how they feel about things. Paying attention to that will make your relationship feel closer. Pay close attention to what's being said to you. Somebody might be sharing something extremely important with you that you cannot afford to overlook. Pisces is one Zodiac sign that has a reputation of really focusing on what people they care about are telling them and you can read about them here: Pisces Zodiac Traits and Love Compatibility
Ask Questions
When someone is talking to you, and explaining something, if you don't understand, go ahead and ask for clarification. That will show that you are paying attention, and you are interested in what they're saying. Sometimes you don't need to ask questions, but if you do, go ahead. It shows that you were engaged, and you care about what they have to say. One thing you should ask about is what your personal life path is. Find a life path calculator and what each of the life paths are here: Find Your Life Path Number and It’s Meaning
Validate or Give Feedback
While someone is talking to you, it is important to give reactions during the conversation to show that you are paying attention. You can nod your head to show them that you understand. You can say things like, “Yes, I see”. You can even discuss what they're telling you. As long as you don't interrupt them, it's a good idea to say things. You don't even necessarily have to tell them that you agree with them. Especially when someone is trying to teach you something, if you are so engaged that you can bring up counterpoints, it will show them that you are paying attention. So give feedback, validate, and that will let people know that you are listening to them.
React Properly
If you pay attention to everything that is said, and say you understand, you have to react like you do. If your landlord has explained where you need to park at the house you rent from them- and you flat out refuse to park where they told you to, that demonstrates you did not listen. People talk sometimes just because they need someone to hear what they are saying, but a lot of times, we listen when people need us to do something. So, the best way to show you listened sometimes is to do what you have been asked. People will really appreciate it if you do.
Listen to learn, share, and feel more connected to the people you love. It builds relationships and ensures that your mind is open to learning new things. Like the wise old owl, the more we listen, the more we learn. Following our six easy steps will make you the best possible listener and people will appreciate you for it.
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for The Green Egg Magazine and PaganPages.Org emag.
