Learn how to control your emotions, but still express yourself and get the validation you deserve.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we were never upset about anything? Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way, and sometimes, things go wrong and we get upset. Some people act like nothing bothers them at all, and then some people seem to be emotional basket cases a lot of the time. The truth is, the people who hide their emotions well still get emotional, they just don’t let everybody know about it. Even if you are someone who is good at keeping your emotions well disguised, you are still going to feel overwhelmed by your emotions at some point or another. The goal is not to live without emotions, but to learn emotional management skills so your emotions don’t have full control of you.
If nobody had emotions, it would be quite an uncaring world, wouldn’t it? So, emotions are not exactly a bad thing. The problem comes when our emotions incapacitate us, or we allow them to decide how we make all of our choices. Emotions don’t have to be terrible things, as long as we don’t let them. So how can you control your emotions? There are a lot of different ways to manage your emotions without denying them, and there is no one right way to do that. We have ten of the best tips listed here to help with emotional management, and these are not in any way the only things you can do, but you might decide they are the only emotional control techniques you need. Keep in mind that no two people are exactly alike, so what helps one person control their emotions might not necessarily be for you. Read on for our top ten best ways to control your emotions.
Stop and Breathe
“Stop, drop, and breathe.”- Dr. Laura
The first thing to do the minute strong emotions set in is to stop and focus on your breathing. An especially exciting or upsetting situation can literally take your breath away, and make you stop thinking entirely. You might catch yourself having an instant reaction to something and want to just do what your instincts tell you but instead, resist that urge by stopping yourself and just doing nothing but breathing deeply. A simple breathing exercise you can do is to visualize yourself safely resting on the earth, being nourished by the source of all life. In that moment, experience that life-giving energy that is entering your body and know that you are protected and that all is well within your soul. Breathe deep and take in even more empowerment from the earth. With each inhale, pull in strength, and each time you exhale, breathe out fear, pain, and sorrows. This simple exercise can help you get a handle on your emotions.
Once you feel you have gotten a grip on your emotions, you are ready to more calmly face whatever is happening. That doesn’t mean everything is going to be easy or that things are not going to be upsetting. This just means that you take a moment to recover from the initial shock and panic that hits once you are presented with a situation that makes you emotional. This will help you assess things with a clearer mind and make better decisions. All it takes is a minute to do this sometimes but take as long as you need before stepping forward to deal with whatever happens. Protective magic can help with that and you can read more here: Protecting Your Spiritual Energy
Think of the Consequences
“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” - Confucius
After you take some deep breaths and get your thoughts together, think of what will happen if you react to your emotions. Think of what negative consequences there could be if you walk off the job because a coworker annoys you, for example. It might not be affordable to be without employment, plus, there could be an annoying co-worker at any job. You could start a job search if things are really that bad at work. Just know that having a reaction based on your emotions before you think things through could have negative consequences for you, and you could regret it.
Think of the positive consequences of waiting to make a decision until after you have caught your breath and allowed yourself to examine your emotions before doing something. Take that job search based on an annoying co-worker for example. Is there anything at all you can do to disengage from your co-worker when they become annoying? Are they in the lunch area at a particular time and you can make your lunch before or after theirs, so you won’t have to listen to them being annoying? Are they really so annoying it is worth it to structure your lunch around them or even react to them at all? You might decide to just step away and ignore them once the initial strong emotional reaction subsides. Thinking of consequences to reactions can help you to make the decision that benefits you the most.
Sit with Your Emotions
“Behind every negative emotion there is a need waiting to be fulfilled.” -Tamara Pflug
One thing to do is to stop and examine your emotions before you do anything else. It’s not fun to have strong emotions about something, but your emotions might be justified. Even if they are, don’t let them overwhelm you. Instead, patiently examine them on your own. Think about how you feel, why you feel that way, and what you want to do about it. Part of the reason we have knee-jerk reactions to our emotions is that we don’t take the time to sit quietly and question those emotions, so we don’t fully understand them.
It could just take a few minutes of thinking about things to understand your emotions, and it could take longer. That is where journaling comes in handy. Sit and write out how you feel, why you feel that way, and what you would like to see happen. Sometimes, pouring your feelings out onto a page is all you need to make you feel better. Then, go back and read all you wrote the next day, or even sometime later. Reading what you have written may provide clarity about how you feel. This is especially helpful if you read what you wrote when you first experienced the emotions and did not stop to think. Knowing your purest emotions is crucial to really understanding them. You can also make video recordings of how you feel and watch the videos later. Air is an element of intellect and you can read about Air Signs here: What are Air Signs?
Be Gentle with Yourself
“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.”- Lisa Hayes
The worst thing you can possibly do is to beat yourself up for the way you feel about something. It’s okay to want to change your feelings, but feeling guilty about them will just make you more upset. It’s not fun to have negative feelings like fear, impatience, anger, or sorrow, but these are all very normal things everybody feels at one time or another. Sometimes we fall in love with somebody who we later believe was not worth it, and sometimes we care about friends or family members who don’t care about us as much as we care about them. We might feel embarrassed by such feelings and wish we had never felt that way.
Be compassionate with yourself for your feelings. Even if it is a feeling that you wish you did not have, it is still a legitimate feeling. It is okay to feel disappointment about things and it is okay to be scared, angry, or hurt, even if it does not feel like what upset you is worthy of your energy. If you have become angry with yourself for emotions you have experienced, forgive yourself. We are all only human, and we can’t always choose the way we will feel about things. What we can choose is how to react to those feelings. Always react by being understanding, forgiving, and gentle with yourself about your emotions.
Express Your Feelings
“Think before you speak and don’t say everything you think.” – Alexander Lebed
Sometimes, there is no point in saying one word because the person who upset you won’t care. Sometimes, however, you want to speak out about what happened, and having your say will make you feel much better. Other times, people really do care about your feelings, and it is important for them to know what they did wrong so they can apologize. The people who are in your life are there because they want to be, and if somebody really loves and cares about you, they are not going to want to do anything to hurt you or risk your relationship. Tell them how you felt, and it will make your relationship stronger.
Just make sure to stop and think before you speak. You can never take back words spoken in the heat of the moment, and you might regret what you say when you are upset. Being upset and emotional is understandable, just don’t allow your emotions to make you lash out or terminate relationships. Reactions should be chosen carefully, and sometimes the best reaction is no reaction at all. Only you can decide what course of action is best, just make sure to do that deliberately instead of emotionally. Earth Signs know how to react calmly and you can read about them here: What are Earth Signs on the Zodiac?
Listen
“Learn to speak by listening.” – Rumi
Sometimes, misunderstandings happen, and things can be cleared up easily if you listen. Open up communication by sharing your feelings, and then sit back and listen to what people have to say in response. Sometimes, things happen, and nobody meant for anybody to be hurt or upset, and what they did really had a purpose. Even if they didn’t though, they may not have meant to hurt anybody, and they can explain that. You deserve an explanation for what happened, and listening will give you the chance to get that.
When you speak your piece and then give other people a chance to respond, you communicate that their feelings are important to you, and sometimes part of managing your emotions is making sure you are mindful of other people’s emotions too. A lot of the problems in the world can be solved easily if we would all just sit down and communicate with each other. You can be the person who makes that happen if you will actively listen.
Manage Stress
“You need to be able to manage stress because hard times will come, and a positive outlook is what gets you through.”- Marie Osmond
If you are overwhelmed by stress, small things that would not bother you otherwise can seem bigger than they are. That is why it is important to keep a handle on the things that stress you. One way to do that is to balance work with rest, and fill the time when you are resting with things that make you feel fulfilled. This includes spending time with the people who you love, and taking them with you to go to the places that make you feel happy.
If there are things that stress you, think about what can be cut out of your life. If you have a stressful job, change jobs. If you are in a neighborhood where you fear for your safety, find somewhere safer to live. If you have an overly competitive friend who is driving you to perform on their recreational ball team and you don’t want to, then quit. There are some things we are stuck dealing with, and we have to take time away from them temporarily, so that they don’t swallow us alive. Then there are some stressful things we simply don’t have to deal with and it’s okay to just refuse to.
Let Little Things Go
“Don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff. ” – Richard Carlson, PhD
There are some things that are just not worth being upset over at all. Petty comments from strangers in public or being cut off in traffic can be ignored. A jealous peer who glares at you when you accept a reward can be frustrating if we allow them to be, but is it really worth your time and emotional energy to react at all to something so unimportant? A barking dog or crying baby at the park might be loud, but in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? If something is so small and insignificant that you won’t remember it days, weeks, months, or even years from now, you can stop worrying and choose to let it go.
There are plenty of important things that matter in your life that should be your focus, not small, unimportant things. If something you know is insignificant has made your emotions flare, simply focus on something else that is more important. Every time you think about that insignificant thing, shift your focus on something else that is significant. It might take a few tries, but soon, you will stop thinking about it and you might forget about it completely. It really is more important to focus on the things that matter instead of worrying about the small, unimportant things.
Accept Emotional Validation
“Never waste your feelings on people who don’t validate them.”- Anonymous
While you are learning to manage your emotions, it is important to surround yourself with emotionally supportive people. Then, it is important to accept their support and validation for your emotions. Your feelings are legitimate and the matter, and the people who love you will make sure you know that. Reaching out to tell the people who you love how you feel about something can be all the support you need to get through emotional times, and it brings you closer together.
Where would we be in life without the love of friends and family? They are with us in our best times, and they help us to get through our worst times. They are the people who understand us the most, and they are with us until we cross over to join with the ancestors. So go ahead and open yourself to sharing your emotions with the people who love you. If anybody understands, it’s them! Read about love here: What is the Spiritual Meaning of Love?
Get Psychic Support
“Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.” – John Wooden
What about the times when you need to hear from somebody that has some expertise in dealing with the type of situation you are in, and nobody who you know can help? A psychic advisor can give surprisingly good insight into emotional matters. They can see deep into your heart, and reveal things you did not know were there, and they can offer solutions to dealing with them. Maybe what is happening is not so upsetting, but it has triggered some emotions because it reminds you of something hurtful that happened before, and a psychic counselor can help to guide you through exploring those feelings. A psychic can also act as a counselor, giving you tips for maneuvering the sea of feelings as well as reassuring you that the way you feel is completely normal. So don’t hesitate to reach out to your psychic advisor for advice and support with managing your emotions.
Maybe the answers we have provided for how to manage emotions were not what you were expecting. Some people want to escape their emotions or just forget about them, but that won’t help. The way to manage emotions is to accept them, and balance them with rational thinking before making any decisions. It is not possible to be completely emotion free, but it is possible to be free from any negative consequences you would deal with if you did not control your emotions. Remember, you are the one in control of your life. You might not be able to control everything that happens, but you can control your reaction by managing your emotions. Get a reading with one of our psychics to learn how to manage emotions today: Online Psychic Readings
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for SpiritualBlossom, has written for Mysticsense, and she writes for PaganPages.Org emag and Green Egg Magazine.
