How do you make difficult decisions? It will be easier with our guide to things to take into consideration like how important things are, what the consequences are, and what your goals are. After reading this, you will know exactly what to do.
Making decisions is highly stressful for a lot of people. It’s not that people are not qualified to make their own decisions. It’s that all of us worry about bad things happening to us if we were to make the wrong decision. Some people believe that everything happens for a reason, and it is not possible to make the wrong choice. Other people feel a great sense of responsibility for their own lives and feel that each choice they make creates their future. An article by the Harvard Business Review says we are more reactionary under stress and when we are stressed, we can limit our own options. Feeling overwhelmed or pushed for a quick decision before we have had the chance to find out all the details can lead people to make decisions that don’t work out well in the long run. Stress Leads to Bad Decisions. Here’s How to Avoid Them (hbr.org)
Has there ever been a time when you had to make a decision that you literally did not want to, and it emotionally distressed you? How about a time when you did not have all the information that you felt like you needed to make the right choice? Was there ever a time when you were pressured by somebody to make a decision in their favor, but you felt it was the wrong thing to do? Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you had to decide whether to do what felt best for you or what was best for somebody else? It’s not always easy to make a decision, but thankfully there are some things to take into consideration each and every time you have to make a tough choice.
How Important is It?
To begin with, before you start pulling your hair out to make what you feel is the right decision, how important is it anyways? While in the beginning, it might seem like something is the most important thing in the whole world, maybe it isn’t. Will you be thinking of this a week from now? Will you think about it a year from now? How about ten years from now? Truthfully, while some issues might seem incredibly pressing, not everything is. So, if things are very important, making a decision can be done one way, but if this is really not all that important, you can relax a little more. The First House deals with important parts of the self and you can read more here: The Complete Guide to 1st House Astrology
Very Important
Things that are very important include things like whether to sell your house and relocate out of state or not. Things like which University to attend and what family doctor to go with are other very important things to decide about. Whether or not to get married, divorced, buy, or rent a property, and how to invest in your future are other very important things to make decisions about. These things will affect your and other people’s entire lives and should not be taken lightly. So, when a decision is about something that is very important, what you need to do is first gather all the information you need, and then take as much time as you need to make that decision. All these things can make you very emotional and it is important not to have what they call a “knee jerk reaction”.
If something is very important, a “knee jerk reaction” decision will often be based on fears instead of thinking rationally. Sometimes, we are afraid of leaving our hometown, but turning down your dream job can keep you stuck in a dead-end job that makes you miserable. If you have plenty of savings and it is a town you always loved visiting, you can set aside your fear of change and make the decision to accept a good change. If, however, the “dream job” is for less pay than you have now and you can’t afford that kind of a pay cut, deciding to stay put for financial stability, and keep looking for that dream job elsewhere might be the best choice. When things are very important, think carefully for as long as you need to, and then make a choice based on what feels best for long term success.
Not Very Important
Some decisions are over small things like what color to paint the bathroom when you remove the outdated wallpaper. If you hate the new color, you can always paint over it and there will be no harm done. There is no point in stressing yourself out over small things that won’t make a huge difference in your life. Small decisions like what movie to watch are not worth getting into a fight with your sibling over and what color to dye your hair should not keep you awake at night. If something is a small issue, don’t waste a lot of time on it. Make a simple decision and move on with your day. There will be more important things to think about and those important decisions could be presented to you at any minute.
What Do You Want?
While it is not a good idea to base every decision on each little thing that you want, sometimes what you want is all you need to know when it comes time to make a decision. Knowing what you want to “be when you grow up” can help you select a university to attend. Knowing what kind of a future you want will help you to decide whether to marry the person who asks you to or not. If you don’t want kids and they do, it is okay to say no and find somebody to settle down with who wants the same things in life as you do. Think of what will happen if you ignore the things your heart truly longs for.
If your lifelong dream is to retire to a cabin you have been paying off for 25 years, don’t let somebody talk you into giving it to a family member instead. If you love being on your kid’s school board, don’t let somebody talk you into giving that up because they think your time would be better spent doing other things. If you are happy that you moved to Spain, and your family wants you to move back to the USA, you don’t have to. Your feelings matter. What you want matters. Sometimes, deciding to do what you want is the best thing for you. Read about being your best self here: How to Be Your Best Self
What Do You Need?
Sometimes, however, doing what you need is the most important thing. Would you like to go on vacation with friends? You might need to skip this year’s trip if you are recovering from being unemployed and you would miss paying rent if you paid to take the trip. If you need to go to sleep on time instead of going out with cousins who are visiting in town, you can always tell them you can get together with them tomorrow after you have slept. Eating what you need for your health as opposed to what you prefer to eat is not a fun decision, but it is a wise one to make, nonetheless. Needs are defined as things that are essential for you to survive and thrive. Without them, you will suffer greatly if you survive at all.
Needs are things like food and drink, shelter, medical treatment, an income, and education. These are just basic needs to live, however, and just having those met is not enough. Another need not everybody talks about that some people will compromise some of their basic needs for is their emotional wellbeing. This includes things that support your mental health like maintaining your personal identity and spending time with people who make you happy. Maybe you won’t die if your emotional wellbeing is not maintained, but you won’t thrive and that’s bad. Sometimes, your decisions are just based on what is necessary, and it is okay to decide to do what you need to.
Who Else is Involved?
One thing to take into account when making a difficult decision is who is involved in what will happen based on what you decide. If you are the only person who your decision will affect, it will be easier to decide to do whatever you prefer. However, if other people are involved, their needs and feelings need to be taken into consideration as well.
When Nobody Else is Involved
When your decision affects only you, it can make it easier to make your decision. It’s your life and you are in the driver’s seat. You get to do what you feel is best for you, and not think of other people sometimes. So, in this situation, what is going to benefit you the most? If you have two different job offers and one is out of town, do you really want to move, or would you prefer to stay in town? If you are choosing furniture to buy and you live alone, you don’t need to think of how comfortable other people would think the furniture is. Do what is best for you in this situation.
When Other People are Involved
Things are different when other people are involved in whatever decision you are making. If you are not sure what to do, you can always talk to the people who the decision affects before you make a final choice. Sometimes, different people have different opinions about what is best, and if this happens, make a list. Write down all the things everybody had to say about the decision and give yourself a set amount of time to consider everything you have been told. If this does not help you make up your mind, think of what all the best things could happen with each decision and what the worst that could happen is. All of this information will help you decide what is best.
Having said that, it can be difficult to decide what to do when you want to make other people happy, but doing so will compromise you. Some people will make a decision to benefit other people over themselves, and sometimes, that isn’t necessary at all. Is your best friend trying to get you to stop dieting and going to the gym because they miss spending more time with you? Well, you can make that decision if you want to, but you could offer to take them to the gym with you instead. Sometimes, other people are selfish and don’t take our feelings or needs into consideration. It is okay to make the decision that is best for you even if other people expect you to do what is not best for you. Read about love here: What is the Spiritual Meaning of Love?
What is Your Goal?
One thing to think about is what goal will this decision help to meet? If you have just said you want more peace in your life and somebody on the Internet starts trolling you, will allowing them to engage you in a heated argument bring more or less peace into your life? You might decide to ignore them and go do something like yoga or attend a lecture on a favorite topic at a local bookshop instead of arguing with them. If, however, your goal is to have your say by expressing all of your opinions, you might feel better about joining the argument they invited you to. It all depends on what goals you have and what is important to you.
If you are presented with a new situation and you are not sure of how a decision about it would fit in with goals, a visualization exercise can help you to make a decision. Sit and daydream about the outcome for each option. For example, if you have never owned a home before, and are deciding what to do with the landscaping, think of what your goal with the yard is. Do you want a low fuss yard? You might opt to hire a landscaping company and just have them plant shrubs and lay grass. If you have always wanted to grow your own food, plant, fruit, herbs, and vegetables instead. Knowing what you want to manifest will help you make decisions.
Will This Compromise Your Integrity?
Have you been asked to lie for your favorite colleague, but to do so would make you ashamed of being dishonest? Did the cashier give you $20 in change instead of the $10 you were owed, and it feels like theft? Did you make plans with a friend, but their ex who you always found attractive wants a date with you when you had plans with them, and you would feel bad if you accepted? There are opportunities to do things that would benefit us every day, but accepting some of those opportunities would force us to go against what we believe is right. If gaining what this opportunity provides makes you too upset with yourself, go ahead and do what you feel is right. You might miss out on keeping somebody who you like out of trouble they deserve, extra money, or a date, but you won’t have to go against your beliefs.
Think of the Consequences
For every choice we make, there is a consequence. In other words, each decision we make creates our future. When you are making a decision, think about what is likely to happen if you choose each of the options. How will the consequences affect things? Think of the good consequences, or what good can come about based on decisions. Think about what bad consequences could come about as well. As an example, let’s say you are faced with the choice of either getting your haircut on time or postponing the appointment so you can go to the Opera.
Good Consequences
How soon would you be able to get your hair done if you don’t keep the appointment? When is another appointment available? Would you go the very next morning, or would you have to put the appointment off for a few weeks? Waiting a couple of days to get a new haircut appointment and enjoying the Opera would not be a bad thing, and if that show won’t be in town again, missing it could be something you regret. So, if you want to, you can always pull your hair back, or put on a hat and call your stylist to reschedule. You might be able to get your hair done nicely and enjoy the show as well.
Negative Consequences
If, however, the Opera just so happens to cost more than you expected, and rescheduling your hair appointment would come with a penalty fee from the salon, you might decide to skip the Opera and follow through with the hair appointment instead. There is always a chance you can see the same Opera another time, and it might even cost less. If it won’t cost less, you can always set money aside to buy your ticket in the future. If a decision will create problems, you can always decide not to do it, and make a different decision that has a better outcome instead.
What Haven’t You Considered?
If you are trying to decide what to do, you may want to take some time out to try and see things from a different perspective. What things have you not considered in this situation? Sometimes, it is the things we have not thought of yet that can help us to decide once and for all what we feel would be best to do. Seeing things from somebody else’s viewpoint can really help to clarify things. If you are trying to decide if you should take a job where you travel for about half the year for work, if you have kids, talk to somebody who grew up with a parent who traveled a lot for work before you decide if you want all that time away from your family or not. If you are trying to decide whether to go ahead and pay for your own cemetery property and pay for your own funeral or leave it up to your family, talking to somebody who had to plan a family member’s funeral the week after they died can help you decide.
Sometimes, other people’s viewpoints are not necessary, but you have not had much time to think about everything yet. Telling people that you are not ready to make a decision yet while you investigate and do some more thinking will allow you time to gather more information. Something else to consider is what would happen if you made no decision immediately and simply waited to see what else happened in the meantime. The more things happen, the more you can see how different choices will affect the outcome. Take your time to think all you need to and that will help you to see which choice is the better decision. Learn about changes and new beginnings: How to Manifest Your Life After Changes
What is Most Important?
When it really comes down to it, what is most important to you? If asserting your superiority is most important, go right ahead and interrupt your colleague and insist she is wrong, but if respectful interactions with your team members is, let her finish, and politely explain what you know. You might be right, but is it more important to say that, or demonstrate it in a way that makes people want to listen? Considering what matters most will always help you to make a decision, no matter how difficult it might be. At the end of the day, we can’t take our actions back once we have done something based on a decision. If you make the choice that supports the things that are most important to you, then you will not regret it.
Listen to Your Inner Voice
When you have taken everything into consideration, you have one more thing to think about. What does your inner voice, or your intuition, say is best? If your rational mind tells you that the best day to go on a trip will be Friday, but something tells you to wait until Saturday morning, you might decide to wait. Our inner voice is that psychic part of us that has answers we cannot explain, but that inner voice is always right. Maybe you have discussed things with people who you respect and trust and you plan to make a certain decision. Then, at the last moment, your inner voice tells you to do something different. You can tell the difference between your psychic voice and fears, and you will never have to worry about your inner voice leading you astray. Always listen to yourself. You know the right thing to do.
All of us make big and small decisions all day long every day. Sometimes a decision is something as unimportant as what refrigerator magnets to buy and some decisions are life changing like whether or not to take a medication. While it can be scary to make decisions because a bad decision can create undesirable consequences, there is something very important you need to know: There is nobody else who is you, and that is why nobody else is more qualified to make your decisions than you are. If you pay attention to all the information that is given to you, then you can make great decisions every day. May you never find yourself in the situation to make tough decisions, but if you do, you can have faith in yourself to make the best decision if you follow our ten tips.
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About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for SpiritualBlossom, Mysticsense, and she writes for The Green Egg and PaganPages.Org emag.
