Being disliked can cause problems, but it doesn’t have to. Learn how to not care about what other people think, and free yourself to make your own decisions despite other people’s opinions.
Nobody likes to be disliked, and everybody hates to feel hated. There will come a time when somebody either dislikes you or hates you, even if you don’t deserve it. You will have to decide whether to go out of your way to appease them, or live your own life, regardless of what other people think. That takes a lot of guts, and it’s not always easy to find that kind of courage. Join SpiritualBlossom to find out how. Discover why being liked helps sometimes, and when it doesn’t matter. Find out how much say other people should have in what you do and how you can have the guts to allow them to dislike you or even hate you. It can be done, even if you are scared, and we will be with you every step of the way to show you how.
What it Means to Be Disliked
Being disliked just means someone finds you unpleasant. They may think that you're opinionated and speak your mind too freely, or they might like the fact that you're opinionated, and they don't agree with your opinions. They might think that your clothes are too flashy, and they think it's more tasteful to dress plainly. They might think that you're not serious enough about your work, or that you're too serious about your work and you're a boring person. They might think you're gross because you have a bunch of cats, and they might think that there's something wrong with you because you don't. These are small matters of personal taste, and some people dislike you for bigger reasons. Cats are magical and you can read all about the magic of black cats here: The Magic and Superstitions of Black Cats
Most people dislike us because of decisions that we make and the way that we live our lives. Usually, it's because of something we've done that they feel personally affects them. If you're a supervisor at work, people might dislike you because you make sure they do their fair share of the work. If you’re a landlord, people might dislike you because you make them clean up their patios and pay their rent on time. If you come from an especially conservative leaning family, some of your family members might dislike you because you're liberal. People often dislike other people who do things differently than they wish they would in general.
The more outspoken you are, the more people will dislike you. The more independent you are, the more people will dislike you. The more of an activist you are, the more people will dislike you. If you speak up in your neighborhood about things that you think are wrong, the people doing those things will dislike you. If you don't give deadbeat friends and family members money, they will dislike you. If you don't follow the crowd, a lot of people are going to dislike you. Some people dislike you simply because they are toxic. Read about toxic relationships here: Why Relationships That Are Toxic Happen
Why Being Liked Helps
Sometimes it's completely unreasonable for people to dislike you, but sometimes if people do like you, it helps you. They will promote you, and help you, and they will be nicer to you if they like you.
People Promote You
On the job especially, it's helpful if people like you. When you're looking for job promotions, the more people like you, especially people in management, the greater chance you have of getting the higher position. If you engage with other people, demonstrate that you care about other people's feelings, and help other people, they are much more likely to promote you to positions of power because you can do more for them and they like you for that.
People Help You
People will help you more if they like you. When you have a problem that needs solved, behave in likeable ways and you'll get better help. So, don't scream at people or insult them when you want them to fix something for you. Use respectful tones, ask for help, and thank them and they will enjoy working with you more. Virgos love to help people. Read about that Zodiac Sign here: Virgo Traits and Love Compatibility
People Are Nicer to You
If people find you pleasant, they will behave more pleasantly around you. If you actively listen to other people, demonstrate that their input matters to you, and do things like tell them you're glad to see them, they will be in a better mood when you're around. So, to reciprocate they will be nice to you also.
When Being Liked Doesn’t Matter
Sometimes, whether or not somebody likes you doesn't matter. When they are being manipulative and demanding and should not be accommodated. Sometimes people are absolutely wrong and should be set straight, and it doesn't matter whether they like that. Other times people have absolutely no power over you, and it doesn't matter whether they like you or not.
When They Are Being Demanding
Manipulative and demanding people want to be accommodated at all times. One thing they will do to try and manipulate you is withhold positive interactions with you until you give in and give them what they want. People who don't want to work but expect you to give them money should not be accommodated, so go ahead and let them dislike you for not giving them money. Coworkers who don't want to do their share of the work might shun you at social gatherings if you don’t do their work for them, but that's okay. When someone is being demanding, go ahead and let them dislike you. Some family members can be demanding when they want to be. Read about whether family is worth the trouble here: Are Relationships with Your Relatives Worth It?
When They Are Wrong
Some people just want everybody to tell them that they're right all the time. All of us are wrong sometimes though. Sometimes, when somebody is wrong, we can't convince them of the way that things actually are. Sometimes, you can let them be wrong. Sometimes, though, you feel the need to let people know that they're wrong, and explain things to them for the way that they really are. Some people will never forgive you for this. That is a decision that they will have to make. Sometimes telling the truth and explaining things is more important than pleasing people.
When They Hold No Power
It is not possible for everybody on earth to have power over you. If somebody has no power over you, it doesn't matter whether they like you or not. It doesn't matter whether they agree with what you say or do. It doesn't matter whether they validate your existence or not. Some of these people are very arrogant and they think that their opinion matters more than it does. When they have no power over you, they can't do anything to you. They can't take away opportunities or friendship, and their support doesn't matter. If they dislike you, that’s okay. Magic is powerful. Read about how to bring magic into your life here: Using Practical Magic in Everyday Life
How Much Say Should They Have?
How much say should other people have in the decisions you make? That depends on what you think. Some people consider themselves people pleasers. They want to make other people happy, and other people don't care if they please other people at all. When you're a people pleaser, it's difficult to tell somebody no, even if you know you should. It's easy for people to pressure you into doing things their way when you're a people pleaser, and you can compromise your own needs. Putting other people's requests over your own needs is very unhealthy. If somebody wants you to do something that causes problems for you and they're being selfish, it's not necessary to please them.
There are a lot of manipulative people who know just what to say and do to get you to bend to their will. This seldom benefits anybody but the person doing the manipulating. If you discover that somebody is withholding praise and perceived friendship to get you to do things their way, maybe you shouldn't let them have any say in what you do. When you're making a decision that directly affects other people however, they should have some input in what you decide to do. Sometimes what we do only affects us and other people's opinions don't matter, though. Each situation is different, and you will have to decide how much say you give other people and what you decide to do. Unifying with others does hold a lot of power though. Read all about that here: Teamwork: The Power of Strength in Numbers
Finding Courage to be Disliked
It's not fun to upset people and make them dislike you based on the decisions you make, but sometimes you will decide that it's necessary. How? First you have to decide what is the most important thing and make the decision on your own. Do things your own way, and just let people be angry with you. It's not always easy but these four steps will give you the courage to make a decision that you know makes people dislike you.
Remember What is Most Important
Is it more important to appease your selfish colleague by not taking time off, or is it more important to take time off to spend with your kids? Plenty of people won't care about what's most important to you and the people who are closest to you, so you have to care. If somebody decides that they don't like you because you did what was most important to you, that's their problem.
Make Your Own Decision
There comes a time when you have to tune out other people's opinions about what you should be doing and make a decision on your own. It's difficult sometimes, because other people really do matter. However, when the decision is yours to make, there's nothing anybody else can do about it. After you've decided what's most important, make the decision on your own. People can talk all they want. Your true friends will have your back no matter what people say. Read all about the live of friends here: All About the Love of Friends
Do It Your Way
Most people do things their own way. So, sometimes it's your turn to do things your way. When you've made up your mind what the best decision is, even if people who you care deeply about have expressed how upset they will be if you do that, sometimes it's better to do things your own way. After all, those very same people typically do things their own way don't they? So, do things your way.
Let Them Be Mad
You have a right to decide what's most important, make your own decision, and do things your own way. Other people have every right to react to it. Some people will be proud of you. Other people will respect your decision even if they don't agree with that. Then there will be people who decide to be angry with you and dislike you for it. Let them. They could not control the decision that you made, and you cannot control whether or not they decide to be angry with you. Narcissists will use anger to control people and you can read all about narcissists here: Loving a Narcissist
Should You Explain Yourself?
Some people say they never explain themselves to other people, and other people seem to always explain their decisions to other people. Which way is best? It depends. When other people are involved in something you are doing, and you have the final decision about what is going to happen, keeping them informed shows respect and good leadership. Sometimes, if you explain the reason why you are doing something the way you are, people understand, and agree with what you are doing. Even when they don’t, it shows that their feelings matter to you.
There will be times when there is no reason to explain. When people are reasonable and have shown multiple times that they will not listen, and they do not care, it might be a waste of time to explain. The number one time when you don’t need to explain yourself is when it’s nobody’s business. Some people believe their position in your life means they have full access to all you say and do, and some people even believe this entitles them to ordering you around all the time. The key word to their attitude is that they are acting “entitled”. When it doesn’t involve them, no they’re not entitled. They are not entitled to make your decision for you, and they may not even be entitled to an explanation. You might decide to explain anyways, but again, it is your decision, not theirs.
Being liked helps sometimes. People will do things for you if they like you that they won’t do for people who they dislike. Then again, some people hold that over your head so they can manipulate you into doing what they want. You don’t have to be manipulated. You can be brave enough to let them dislike you and even let them hate you for making your own decisions instead of taking orders. Decide what is most important, do what you believe is right, and then decide whether or not to explain your reasons for doing things your way. The right people will like and respect you for following your own heart.
Having trouble deciding whether to make your own decision or do what someone else says you should? You can always reach out to one of our psychics for the best advice, so get a reading with us started today!
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for The Green Egg Magazine and PaganPages.Org emag.
