Sometimes life and situations take us away from the people we love, but we don’t have to stay away for good. Find out what it takes to come back together after growing apart, and how to stay together for good.
When you love someone, it means you stay in each other's lives and see each other often, right? Not necessarily. Sometimes things happen and we grow apart even if we don't mean to. Just because you've grown apart doesn't mean you can't start being close again though. Join SpiritualBlossom to learn all about growing apart. Find out why we grow apart and what growing apart causes. Find out some good reasons to get back together again, and then find out some easy ways to do it. Just because you've drifted away from each other doesn't mean you have to stay away forever. We'll teach you how to come back together and stay together for good.
What Does it Mean to Grow Apart?
Growing apart just means that we're either not emotionally close to someone who we used to be anymore, or emotionally we're still close but physically we're distanced. It happens to friends. It happens to lovers. It happens to family members. Signs that it's happening include that you don't listen to each other and pay as much attention as you used to. You may not feel the emotional connection that you used to feel to one another. You might stop empathizing or sympathizing with each other. You may even lead completely separate lives from one another.
You might be spending as much time together as you used to, but you might be emotionally disengaged from one another. You might not talk as often as you used to, or even if you talk often, you might not share deep emotional things with each other. You might feel alone even when you're in the same room together and you may not feel supportive of one another. You might not feel any of these things and you're just not prioritizing time together anymore. You might even be keeping secrets from one another, and you can read about keeping secrets here: Is Keeping Secrets Bad?
Why Do We Grow Apart?
There are a lot of different reasons why people grow apart. One of the biggest reasons is because we have a disagreement or a fight and it causes a major falling out and a split in our relationship. Some people just get busy and don't make the time to spend together that they used to. Some people can't get together in person and the distance makes them grow apart.
Falling Outs
Marriage.com says that 85% of people will experience a breakup at some point in their life. A lot of breakups happen because of fights or disagreements. Irreconcilable differences, change in lifestyle, or words that are said that can never be taken back are all things that can initiate a falling out. A falling out can be the worst thing for a relationship, because some people are so hurt after things that are said and done during a falling out, they may never trust each other enough to get back together again. Falling out might be the worst thing that could happen to a relationship. Read more about relationships at Marriage.com here: How Many Relationships Fail? 23 Eye-Opening Statistics
We Get Busy
Life is busy. There are just 24 hours in a day and countless things that we need to accomplish. Sometimes long-term relationships are laid aside, and our emotional intimacy suffers because of it. It's not that we mean to neglect the people we love. It's just that we get caught up in all the things that we need to do, and the time isn't set aside for the people who we care about. Being too busy to spend time with the people who we have a relationship with can make us grow apart.
Distance
It's easy to spend time with people who we see often just because of where we already are. We see our favorite classmates and coworkers every day when we go to school or work. We see our neighbors because of where we live. We see the people in our hometowns just because we live in the same town as they do. A lot of relationships are cultivated with people who are already nearby. However, when something happens that makes us move away from each other, some people don’t make it a priority to spend time with people that aren't right there anymore. This can make us grow apart. Sometimes emotional distance can cause a divorce and you can find out how to survive a divorce here: Surviving Your Divorce
What Does Being Apart Cause?
Being apart is difficult enough, but it can cause other difficult things to happen. It can make us forget the good times we shared and how important we were to each other. It can make us grieve the loss of our time together and the distance from our relationship. It can also make us move on and build a life without each other.
We Can Forget
When we're apart from one another, we occupy our time with other things and other relationships. It can make us forget the good memories that we've had with people who we've drifted apart from, and it can make us forget how much we mean to each other. That doesn't mean that the love wasn't there, or that we will never come back together again. It just means that when we're not together and we're focusing on other things, we're not thinking about each other anymore. All that can be changed by coming back together again.
We Can Grieve
When we're apart from someone who we love, especially if there was a falling out, or some other reason that makes it seem like we won't come back together again, we grieve the loss of that relationship. While grief may be primarily associated with loss of someone because of death, grieving the loss of someone in your life even if they're still alive is normal. Some people try to ignore their feelings when they're grieving, but it's important to allow yourself to experience your feelings fully. Take all the time you need to grieve, and know that you will heal. Your emotions can be raw during grief but you don’t have to let them rule you. Find out emotional control techniques here: The Ten Best Ways to Control Emotions
We Can Move on From One Another
There is only one way to move in life, and that way is forward. We can never go back to the past no matter how much we want to. When you've grown apart from someone, one of the worst things possible can happen. You can move forward with your life without each other. For some people, the people who love bring meaning to their life, and when most people are gone, new meaning has to be found. When someone is gone, we may find that meaning with new people and move forward from our relationships we had with them.
Why Come Back Together?
When you've grown apart from someone, no matter how it happened, and no matter why it happened, sometimes you decide that you want to become close again, but what are some reasons that you would want to do that? Some people want to become close with someone again because that relationship matters to them. Some people want to come together after they've grown apart because they love each other. Other people don't necessarily have a specific reason for wanting to come together again, they just want to and that's good enough.
Your Relationship Matters
Ourworldindata.org estimates that we were made about 80,000 people and our lifetimes if we live an average of about 73 years. We can't form close relationships with all those people, of course. However we do form meaningful relationships with some people that matter. Maybe you've known each other for years and you moved away from each other, but would like to get back in touch. If your relationship matters enough, you will invest the time in it. Read more about how many people we will meet in our lives here: The limits of our personal experience and the value of statistics - Our World in Data
You Love Each Other
When you love somebody, you want them in your life. Growing apart from one another can be heartbreaking. Love can make you want to come back together if you've drifted apart. Even if you've had a falling out, or if one of you is upset with the other for not trying to stay in touch, you can always put those things aside and spend time together again just because of the love. Is there somebody who you love and miss? Why not go ahead and reach out to them and tell them you love them?
You Just Want To
Sometimes you don't really have a reason you can express for wanting to become closer to somebody again. You just want to. Maybe you didn't mean to drift apart, but it happened. One day apart turns into weeks apart, then months, then years if you let it. You don't have to let it though. If you want to become closer to someone and spend time with them again, you can. Wanting to be closer again is the first step to being closer again. You might be looking for advice on love and you can find it here: The Best Advice for Love
Ways to Come Back Together
Sometimes deciding to come back together automatically changes your behavior and you just get closer together with someone who you love again. Other times you're not quite sure what to do to make closeness happen again. It's easy. Be the first to reach out and remember how much you love each other period. If there's been a falling out, reconcile. Make your relationship a priority and don't let anything come between you ever again. Do all these things and it will bring you close and keep you close!
Reach Out First
Being the first person to reach out can be difficult. It requires some humility and that's tough for some people, but it's worth it. You may have to take responsibility for the fact that you grew apart, even if you're not the one who's solely responsible. It may be difficult to reach out first because you've lost each other's contact information, but don't give up. Keep researching and trying to find that person you love who you want to spend time with again. It's worth it. Read about making tough decisions here: Making Hard Decisions
Remember the Love
When you're trying to become close again with someone who you've drifted apart from, remember how much you love each other. You may have many years of memories of good times that you've spent together, but even if you don't have a lot of years together, the time you have had together still matters. In the time that you've known each other, you have created wonderful memories. A lot of things will have made you love each other more. Never forget that.
Reconcile
Did you have a fight and break off your relationship? Sit down and talk it out if you want to become closer again. If both of you truly care about each other, you can put past hurts behind you and move on from them. Offer forgiveness and ask for forgiveness if it's necessary. Life is too short to spend without the people who you care about. Never let your pride or your need to say that you're right come between you and someone who you love. Reconcile and move forward with your lives together. Read about the spiritual meaning of love here: What is the Spiritual Meaning of Love?
Prioritize Your Relationship
Your relationships with the people who you care about matter. Quite often, we don't have the time to do a lot of things. We have to make the time to do things and that means prioritizing what's most important and doing that first. If you want to become closer with someone again who you've drifted apart from, make that one of your top priorities and don't let anything come before it. If you don't do anything else besides prioritizing your relationship, you have a very good chance of succeeding in becoming close again.
Let Nothing Come Between You
Once you reach out, reconcile if you have to, remember how much you love each other, and make becoming close again a priority, don't ever let anything come between the two of you again. You're always going to be busy for your whole life. Make time for your relationship anyways. There's always a chance you could have a disagreement or a falling out, just don't let things get ugly. There's always a chance that one of you could move away from one another, but that's ok. You can travel to see each other, do phone calls, texts, letters, and video calls if you need to. Don't ever let anything make you feel that you've drifted apart from one another again.
You might have grown away from somebody who you love but that doesn’t mean you have to stay apart forever. We grow apart for a lot of reasons including being busy or having falling outs. Growing apart can make us forget our relationship, grieve losing one another, and move on without one another, but that doesn’t have to happen. There are simple things you can do like reaching out first, making your relationship a priority, and never letting anything come between you again to stay together for good. Life happens, and we let it pull us away from the people we love sometimes, but it doesn’t have to be that way forever. You can grow close again and stay that way!
Are you having a hard time trying to decide how to grow closer to someone again? You’re not alone because we are here for you all day every day. So get a reading started with us now.
About the Author: Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Mysticsense and SpiritualBlossom, and she writes for The Green Egg Magazine and PaganPages.Org emag.
